THE S.L.A.G SERVICE

Fly with us and once your inside a S.L.A.G, you'll feel comfort every time.

We promise:

Priority boarding of all non OAPs, hey we even serve you a meal on board and show you a movie, while we board the biddies!

Well fit birds as Trolley Dollies. We know there is nothing worse then enduring a 24 hour flight and finding out that all the cabin crew are geezers.

Remember if you want mincing men, you fly QANTAS - even the name gives it away
QANTAS - Queers and Nancy Types as Stewards.

Our on board Duty Free ‘Sky Shop Service’ (closed Sundays) offers a range of luxury items at well below street value, including used video recorders and car stereos. A special offer this week, we are offering the new male after shave called ‘LaBotyman pour Homme’ at £29.95.

Our First Class passengers enjoy being met at the airport in one of our luxury motors.

FIRST CLASS

BUSINESS CLASS

Our Business passengers enjoy being met at the airport by a high class hooker which will appear on your credit card bill as ‘sundries’

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ECONOMY CLASS

Think ‘National Express’ coaches but in the sky! With a generous 2cm reclined seat pitch and ample room for your duty frees and ciggies in the overhead lockers. You may opt for the seat next to the exit with the extra legroom by complaining of a old leg wound and pretending that you booked that seat with your travel agent ages ago. Your name is then added to the list of 200 passengers in economy who suddenly want that seat with the same symptoms